Kilcoole Golf Club

Right. We’ll get the bad stuff out of the way first. Kilcoole became the third golf club in the hundreds that we’ve played to tell us that we could not park overnight in their car park. In fact, in the words of the manager on duty that night, we “have no mission”. In all fairness to the guy he phoned his manager and some security company who seemed to have something to do with the car park. But still the answer was was no. I think what annoyed us the most about this was that it wasn’t for any insurance reason (like Waterford Castle) or because they’re Dublin snobs (like Howth). The reason we couldn’t park there seemed to be just because. We were very disappointed to say the least. I had almost decided not to do a write up of this course up because of that but that would just be stupid and spiteful, so here it is.

(We later learned from the two guys we played with today that there have been run-ins with a man who owns some land next to the course – or may even have owned some of the land the course now occupies – which could have been a reason for us not parking there. Still, would have been nice to have found that out last night).

Kilcoole is a 9 hole parkland course about 15 miles north of Wicklow which bills itself as a Little Gem (according the plaque outside the clubhouse). We played it on a nice, but very windy, day with Mark Moriarty and Kevin O’Callaghan, two young lads both playing off 12 and keen as mustard. They were great craic the whole way round (and don’t forget lads – I can moderate the comments!) and we very much enjoyed their company. They played some good golf but poor Mark just couldn’t sink a putt!

The course itself is not bad. Nicely kept with nice looking, but very slow, greens. The opening hole is a dogleg right over a river. It looks drivable, but the warning signs all over the place about not doing so for fear of incurring the wrath of the man I mentioned earlier. The second is a nice par 4 with a raised, tiered green. Probably the nicest hole is the third – a par 3 with an island green. The lads said they’d normally take a 9 iron to it, but with today’s wind a 6 iron got me on the green first time round (and in the water second time). Also worth a mention is the long par 5 8th weighing in at around 600 yards. Mark made it onto the green with three superb shots second time round, but his putting let him down for his birdie. The 9th, also a par 3, is a nice finishing hole up to the clubhouse with a pond on the right.

Thomas says:
The course, and the company, made up for last night’s melodrama. Normally the high wind would put me right off but today I played OK, if a little patchy in places. It was a fourball better-ball competition and we didn’t gel very well as a team. Plus I kept losing balls in the water (both times on the 9th!). I was impressed by the course, except for the greens. They looked fine and seemed well cut, but for me they were just so slow. I felt like I had to whack every putt and even then I was leaving most of them short. Slow greens is a big no no for me and the course was less enjoyable because of that. Get the greens sorted and this course would live up to its ‘Little Gem’ moniker.

Clive says:
It’s great playing golf with 16 year olds – they have absolutely no fear. Kevin was a member and kept us right. Both lads played some superb shots. All 3 par 3s are very good – the 9th has a pond to the right and first time round I had a par three (sadly it may have been my only one). The second time round I just dribbled to the edge of the water and decided – a la Jean van de Velde – to hit it from the pond. No I didn’t take my socks and shoes off – just hit it and it was a fine shot – I know because there was applause all round.

I always thought it was a funny place to have a 9 hole course for there is lots of affluence round here – but Thomas has told you the story of the land. The water does come into play all way round. The 7th is a lovely hole but no matter what you hit your ball is likely to land in the drink – it did once for me. The greens were ridiculously slow and I couldn’t putt to save my life today. But I quite liked the place – quirky would be a good word – and well kept. I think the best bit was the company we had – Mark and Kevin were proper young turks at the game of golf. They were polite (just with the odd swear word – cut this out lads, no need for it) but I do hope you turn pro as soon as possible. Marks out of ten for the course, 6 and three quarters – for the welcome, a big zilch.
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Kilcoole Golf Club

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